Don't assume...

Accessibility: Antonia poses holding her cane.

She is wearing a black jumpsuit with a 

polka dot and flower pattern. A jean jacket

over it.

There are a lot of stereotypes out there -for everyone. However, I have found that since I started using my cane, people were more vocal about things they assumed about me, or blind people in general. These are some assumptions that have been made about me at one point or other.

Don't assume I am totally blind.

Sure, I am using a cane, but I also have some vision. In fact, over 90% of white cane users have some remaining sight and, believe me, we use it as much as possible. Just because I am using a cane and I can see, it doesn't mean I am trying to trick you into thinking I am totally blind. My cane is a mobility tool that helps me travel safely and I am not getting any special benefits out of using it. In fact, it is very inconvenient to always have a busy hand so, trust me, if I didn't feel a need for my cane, I wouldn't have it.

Don't assume I can't talk.

When I have my cane, people often talk over me to whoever is with me. In restaurants I often get the, "So what will she have?' directed to my husband. I am blind and I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself. I think this is often done out of ignorance and fear of saying the wrong thing, but we are not scary people and it means so much more to us that you talk directly to us than ignore us.

Don't assume I read braille.

I am often offered braille safety instructions when I board a plane and, while I know my alphabet, I am not a good braille reader. I read large print or regular print with the help of accessibility devises such as a magnifier or CCTV. I wish more businesses would have large print materials available for customers.

Don't assume I am helpless.

A lot of times people will ask if I need help, which is really nice, but if I decline your assistance, don't push it on me. I have lived with a vision impairment my entire life so doing everyday things is not difficult for me, maybe I just do them differently. However, IF I need help, I will be sure to ask or accept it when you offer.

Don't assume you can just touch/drag/push me.

This happens especially when I am waiting to cross at an intersection, but it has happened elsewhere too. So, I am waiting to cross the street and, whoever is next to me will just grab my arm and push me onto the street. I know people mean well and they just want to help me cross, however, please, ask if I need help, do not drag me out onto the street. First of all, I may not see you grabbing me and I could trip. Secondly, it is very scary being grabbed and dragged. Thirdly, you wouldn't grab a sighted person, why would you grab me? And, finally, I have done a lot of orientation and mobility training so that I can safely cross the street on my own.

Similarly, if somebody is guiding me somewhere, they will often grab my hand or my arm and drag me. This is not how you guide a blind person. You offer your elbow or shoulder to that person and we MAY choose to grab it. Some of us have enough vision just to walk behind you and follow you.

Don't assume the terms see/watch/look are offensive to me.

First of all I CAN SEE a little. Secondly, I wouldn't say something like, I listened to a movie -no blind person would. In fact, I have yet to meet a blind person who is offended by these words. We speak normally and use these verbs as anyone else would.

Don't assume I want to touch your face.

We don't do that at all. We don't go around feeling people's faces to know what they look like. We just... don't. It's weird.

Don't assume I am not living a full happy life and DO NOT pity me.

I am happily married. I have a graduate degree and a job that I enjoy. Sure, I cannot drive, but that doesn't mean my life isn't as full as yours. I am not constantly depressed and thinking about the things I am missing out. Quite the opposite; I maybe think about it once or twice a year. Sure, I  encounter inaccessible places and things on a daily basis, and I do not think it is Ok, however, I don't let these things get me down.

Don't assume I don't like visual things.

I love photography and going to art museums. Sure, I can't see all the fine details, but I can still admire a beautiful piece of art. Photography helps me see the world better because, things my naked eye may not see, I can capture in a photo, such as bugs or a bird flying in the sky.

Don't assume I am not independent.

Kind of going hand in hand with my being helpless, I am very capable and I can lead a fully independent life. I travel independently and I take care of myself and my house, If I have kids one day, I will take care of them and NOT the other way around.

Don't assume I am so lucky my husband married me.

Yes, I am very lucky that he married me and I feel so fortunate. What I mean is those people who imply that it was so big of him to marry me even though I am blind, that he must be such an amazing person, that I don't have a whole lot of choices romantically unless someone takes pity on me. Well, guess what? HE IS LUCKY I MARRIED HIM. We all have our baggage and our things that make us who we are, my blindness is just one of those things. My husband did not make a huge sacrifice in marrying me because I am blind and our marriage is not an act of charity on his part.

Don't assume I can't use technology like computers and smartphones.

Technology has accessibility features built in to help persons with disabilities use these devices like everyone else. I can turn on a zoom/magnifier or a screen reader on my phone without the need to purchase any special apps. We also enjoy social media as much as everyone else does.

I am sure I have missed many more, but all of these have happened on more than one occasion and have stuck with me. What are some assumptions people make about you because of your vision impairment or anything else?

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