Legally blind and using a white cane

Accessibility: Antonia walking down a pedestrian street

using her customized Ambutech cane on a sunny day.

I started using a white cane about six months ago. I am legally blind, which means that my best corrected vision is 20/200 or less. I am not totally blind. In fact, more than 90% of white cane users aren't; we have varying degrees of vision loss. I was never taught how to use a cane growing up (even though I was born legally blind) and I don't even remember it ever being a discussion. It might be because in Spain we don't have as big a culture of white cane use like in the United States, or perhaps it is because I have pretty good functional vision. In other words, I don't generally bump into stuff. So why did I decide to start using a white cane?

There were many reasons that pushed me to make this decision and I wanted to share them for those adults that might be wondering whether they should get a white cane and parents of visually impaired children that are on the fence about whether they should have an orientation and mobility (O&M) instructor teach their kids how to use a white cane.

My job involves a lot of networking, remembering people and socializing. As somebody with a visual impairment, that is extremely hard for me. I cannot see people across a room, or even when they are close to me -let alone recognize them to start a conversation. In fact, even if somebody approaches me and starts talking, if I don't know them well, chances are I will not know who they are. This resulted in a lot of failed relationships for something that was totally out of my control as I appeared aloof and standoffish. It also meant that I missed many opportunities to strengthen relationships. Even though I am pretty open about my visual impairment, it isn't the first thing I tell somebody when we meet, especially if this is a professional connection and my visual impairment has nothing to do with the conversation. However, even when I do tell people, they have a tendency to forget. I don't blame them, it's normal. Or perhaps, they don't realize that being visually impaired means I will not recognize you when we meet again. Having a white cane is a visual reminder that I cannot see you and that if I didn't say hi or start a conversation it isn't because I am rude, I just didn't know who you were. Using a cane in these situations has proven to be very helpful. A lot of people will approach me with a "Hi Antonia, this is So and So from So and So!" and I immediately know who they are with no need to embarrass myself and fish for information.

Even though I don't generally bump into stuff, I have really poor depth perception. This means that if there are unmarked steps, I don't see them and, if I see them, I don't know how tall they are. When the ground changes texture (like when the tiles on a sidewalk change or if I am in a building and we go from carpet to tile, etc.), I never know whether there is a step or if the ground is just changing textures. Therefore, I have to probe with my foot, if I realize it before I step on it. As a child I used to trip and fall quite a bit. As an adult I got some really good reflexes, but I still trip and (occasionally) fall. My white cane helps me feel what is in front of me and I don't have to worry about looking down to the ground the entire time. I can actually keep my head up and look around instead of being focused on what is on the ground directly in front of me.

We knew we wanted to move somewhere where I would be able to navigate by myself, which meant more walking and taking the bus. I had lived alone in such a setting before and, while I could do it, there were some problems that I wish I didn't have. Flagging down the bus was always difficult because I couldn't see what the number on the bus was and bus drivers would get really annoyed when I would flag them down only to ask what their number was. Crossing streets without a light, or where there were left turns on green was always so scary. I couldn't always see (or hear) the cars coming, especially those taking a left turn and I had many close encounters with cars and (scariest of them all!) buses. Furthermore, I cannot see people in cars, so they may have been waving for me to go, but I couldn't see it, so it probably felt like I was playing a weird game of chicken. Finally, I couldn't see bikes on the sidewalk until it was too late, and they would be all mad at me for not getting out of the way (not to mention it was dangerous both for bikers and for myself). I thought that having my cane would alleviate some of that stress because it is a visual indicator for others that I cannot see them. It has worked great in that sense. What's more, it came as a pleasant surprise that people just get out of the way to let me through. Even though I hadn't thought of it, it is hard to navigate crowds, and my cane makes it so people know to give me the right away (I love it!).

Before I got my cane, when I asked for help or for directions, people would give me the universal 'Over there' with a slight head nod. Well, guess what? 'Over there' doesn't mean anything to visually impaired and blind people; I don't see where you are pointing and I can't see that far into the distance anyways. Even if I told people I couldn't see, they would either repeat the same instructions or lose patience with me and move on, Having the cane makes it so people understand that when I am asking for help it isn't because I am being annoying, it is because I truly need help. I have found that strangers are so much more willing to help me when I ask for assistance with my cane. This situation translates to when I am trying to read signs and ask for assistance, or I am in a food place and want help seeing the menu on the wall, etc. Overall, everyone is so much more patient and it makes vulnerable situations more bearable.

Finally, my vision changes based on lighting, how tired I am, if I am sick or stressed that day or, even, for no reason at all! Having a cane is that extra safety net that I know if, for example, one day it is really bright outside, I don't need to keep my eyes open. I can navigate confidently without looking. Or, if I am really sick, I will still be safe and able to navigate because of the feedback I am getting from my cane and all the O&M instruction I received.

Getting a cane was an extremely difficult decision for me. I felt like I was being vulnerable to strangers and putting my disability out there for all to see. I know there are a lot of preconceived notions of what a person is supposed to act like when they use a white cane, and I knew it would be shocking to many that I could see (in fact, was I blind enough to use a cane?). Similarly, some of those preconceived notions involve negative stereotypes about blind people and I didn't want people to judge me before knowing me. I was scared that strangers would see my disability before they saw me. Finally, I didn't want to be relying on an object, I felt like that was a sign of weakness and that, if I had been able to get around by myself for so long, why did it have to change now? While I have a love-hate relationship with my cane, I find that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Besides all the things I listed above, I feel less anxious when going to a new place by myself -which is a huge positive being that we just moved to a new city!

It is a very personal decision and everyone should make their own. However, if you are on the fence about using a cane, I say do it! You can always try it and decide it isn't for you -or you may discover that you actually love it. Parents, I would encourage you to teach your kids how to use a white cane. Perhaps your kids will decide they don't want it when they grow up, but at least you know you provided them with another skill they can use whenever they want it.

Are you a cane user? When did you start using it? Are you on the fence about using a cane? Why?

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